Fashion trends are ephemeral. Most pass by quicker than time itself. Some styles make an indelible impact, while others are lost in the shuffle. However, 2017’s most insipid trends — everything from cold-shoulder shirts and chokers, to rompers and crop tops — feel as if they’ve lingered longer than usual.
Thankfully, in mere days, 2018 will arrive, ushering in an entirely new array of styles that will aggravate the masses until they transition to the clearance racks. Though most of the trends on the horizon aren’t completely awful or unexpected, they’ll likely drive you insane by the time we ring in 2019.
Here are just five upcoming fashion trends you’ll loathe by the end of next year:
No one knows how to kill your favorite colors quite like the people who run the fashion industry. Of course, you’ll only be able to own one — maybe two — pieces in said hue without looking like a living, breathing Care Bear every day of your life.
2. Fanny packs
Despite the fact that smartphone radiation might be harmful to your health, fashion gurus want you to carry your mobile device closer to your reproductive organs than ever. But, you know, at least they’re not neon sacks of nylon designed specifically for mall walkers anymore…
While fringe can be fun in moderation, it’s not the 20s again (yet) and no one’s as fashionable as flappers once were. If you feel the need to give this trend a try, be careful. Be sure to ask yourself: Can I go to the bathroom while wearing this garment? You’ll be glad you did.
Remember how Aqua once declared that being wrapped in plastic was fantastic? Well, now’s your chance to live out those Barbie Girl dreams you’ve been harboring for 20 years. For those looking for an economical alternative, Target’s cheap, clear shower curtain liners should suffice.
“Florals for Spring? Groundbreaking.” But, you see, they’re BIGGER this time! While the florals of yesteryear resembled the sickening drapes in your grandmother’s living room, these 60s-style patterns are IN YOUR FACE, so it’ll be impossible to ignore their existence. Just don’t walk too quickly, or else you might trigger strangers’ motion sickness.
(This post originally appeared on Storia.)