The Bachelor: Just Because You Don’t ‘Win’ Doesn’t Mean You Lose

800x533Much like the average Oscars telecast, ‘losers’ will always outnumber the ‘winners’ throughout Bachelor Nation. (Heck, even the ‘winners’ don’t always win, if you know what I mean…) Yet, as we’ve seen in just the last two seasons alone, those ladies who fail to find love at the end of the road often discover it along the way instead.

Most women apply for The Bachelor with the hope of finding love in an unconventional situation. What they don’t tell you, however, is that the love of your life might not be the man with the final rose after all. One need only peruse Instagram or Twitter to recognize that many of these so-called “contestants” have found stronger bonds in the form of friendship. Everyone assumes there will be catfights, but the women have been defying the stereotype, instead demonstrating the power of solid female relationships that outweigh the allure of some man.

Side note: Don’t get me wrong! I have the utmost respect for Chris Soules, a.k.a. Prince Farming—who’s the polar opposite of last year’s mistake, Juan Pablo Galavis—as he’s proven himself to be nothing but sweet and sincere throughout this amazing (cha-ching!)** journey.

Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 1.42.31 PMMore than anything, you can see this love in the way they say goodbye. Despite the fact that they’re all vying for the affection of the same man, these ladies cannot bear to let go of those they’ve come to know better than Chris himself. Jade Roper went to tears when Carly Waddell was sent home, and Becca Tilley was clearly not content to merely grasp hands with Kaitlyn Bristowe as she exited the temple in Bali. Though each woman clearly wants her chance for romance, none can handle seeing their friends in pain—an obvious sign that these girls are far more special than critics might have us think.

We must value these women and look up to them for who they are, not who the promos portray them to be. We must not look to Becca’s virginity as some “deal-breaker” or character flaw. Instead, we must look upon her as a woman who’s managed to stand by her convictions and virtues in an atmosphere that leaves one open to harsh criticism and hate. We should admire her stance and respect her decision, as she should feel proud for remaining true to her roots. We must appreciate Kaitlyn’s refreshing mix of class, candid humor, and vulnerability, for I cannot think of one person who didn’t fall in love with her right alongside Chris. (PS—#kaitlynforbachelorette all the way!) We must chuckle at Carly’s witty personality and marvel at her willingness to address the elephant in the room, because women shouldn’t be afraid to tell it like it is. We must support Jade’s honesty, for she should not be ashamed of her past, but rather confident in who she was and who she’s become.Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 1.43.24 PM

Without doubt, there will always be the requisite outliers—Kelsey and Ashley S. brought an extreme level of ‘cray cray’ drama and tension to an otherwise serious search for love. (Did you see how giddy the remaining girls were when the crew carted Kelsey’s suitcase away, though? I wanted to celebrate right along with them!) And, of course, there are those amazing (cha-ching!)** women whom we never truly got to know. But ultimately, the show’s renewed success comes down to how real these reality stars just happen to be. Believe it or not, I’m actually rather jealous of the friendships formed and the tenacity displayed. No one can deny that each woman was wholly and unabashedly herself, for better or worse.

Roses smell lovely, after all, but when the colors fade and the petals fall, what’s left? In this scenario, relationships that will last long after the cameras stop rolling, I’m sure.

**If I ever meet Jimmy Kimmel, remind me that I owe him $2.00.

(Images via ABC, Becca Tilley, and Carly Waddell.)


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