The Twelve Observations of Christmas

Though we spend most of the holiday season running around in preparation for Santa’s arrival, we each need to take a moment to relax and reflect as the rush dies down. There are so many interesting things right under our noses, if only we’d take the time to notice…

1. Marshmallow World might just be THE song of the 2012 holiday season. This year, the stores started playing Christmas music well before Thanksgiving, so I decided to count how many times I heard some particularly popular tunes. (I’ve heard Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is You 23 times this season, in case you were wondering.) But boy, am I upset that I didn’t add Marshmallow World to my roster! Though I’ve heard numerous renditions, the song itself has been everywhere. Snow, on the other hand, has been M.I.A. thus far.


2. Hallmark has found a new use for Silly Bandz. My mom bought two giant rolls of wrapping paper from Hallmark this year—buy one, get one for a dollar. They didn’t have any of their long, made-for-wrapping-paper bags left, so the cashier used a rubber band to keep the rolls together. It wasn’t until we got home that my mom realized her rubber band was shaped like a giraffe! Nice to know that Silly Bandz live on (even if their current form is also their original purpose).


3. The little girl from the Miracle on 34th Street remake and the little boy from The Santa Clause are both now in the mid-20s. Mara Wilson (also known for her roles in Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire) is now 25-years-old, and Eric Lloyd (aka Charlie Calvin) is 26-years-old. Doesn’t that make you feel old? Luckily for them, in one way, they’ll be young forever.

4. The little girl in The Santa Clause got her two front teeth for Christmas… twice. Pay attention to Sara, one of Scott Calvin’s first stops after putting on Santa’s suit. She may think it’s odd that Scott/Santa is neither bearded nor chubby, but when he returns the following year looking the part, the only person’s appearance left in question is Sara’s. She’s been missing her two front teeth for two straight years!

5. Santa (aka Scott Calvin) kidnapped his son for nearly one month. Remember how Bernard told Scott Calvin he’d be due back at the North Pole by Thanksgiving? Do you also remember how Scott Calvin snuck Charlie up to the North Pole after being denied visitation rights? That means Laura, Neal, and the police department were searching for Charlie for nearly one month! Movie magic sort of distorts the average viewers sense of time, I suppose…

6. Oh, and elves are everywhere (throughout the first Santa Clause, at least). Though I’d have to watch the entire movie again if I want to pinpoint each instance, simply watch the scene where Scott goes to Charlie’s soccer game and you’ll see what I mean. Scan the line of children that gather in front of his bench. Look closely and you’ll see there’s an elf girl standing on the opposite side of the bench! Don’t believe me? Well, at first glance, you might not. But wait until Scott stands to greet Laura and Neal. Watch the elf girl walk by. You can’t deny those ears!

7. The Christmas Shoes is the worst Christmas song ever and you cannot disagree. Honestly, you cannot fight me on this one. Unless you like bawling your eyes out, of course. But no one does. In fact, I’m not even going to provide the link. YouTube at your own risk.

8. If there’s really something up the chimney, it would’ve decayed long before next Christmas.This little tune is rather catchy, but I must point out the young girl’s inaccuracies. If Santa were really in that chimney, and the house started smelling (such a big disgrace!), that’s a clear indication that Santa’s body has begun to rot. That means he’d eventually fall into the fireplace and scar the family for life.


9. Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good, but he also hates you if you’re different. I can’t remember a year without Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but this year, something stood out more than ever before. (Every status on my Facebook newsfeed that night supports my theory.) Though Rudolph’s flying skills are impressive, Santa immediately shames the young reindeer and his father because of his nose. Our dear, sweet Santa discriminates Rudolph based on his appearance! But I guess we shouldn’t expect too much from an old man who judges young children while he watches them sleep…

10. Taylor Swift probably doesn’t even remember who she gave her heart to Last Christmas. Or how many guys she’s given her heart to since then, quite frankly. But that won’t stop her from singing her own rendition of Wham!’s Last Christmas.


11. Taylor Swift also cannot recall the boys she hasn’t kissed because she has, in fact, kissed them all. If you’re going to undertake Santa Baby, you might want to make sure there aren’t any “open mouth, insert foot” lines, as is the case for Ms. Swift. “Think of all the boys that I haven’t kissed,” she sings. Pardon me while I simultaneously laugh at the irony and draw a blank.


12. It’s A Wonderful Life pays homage to Clarence right within the movie itself. Henry Travers played Clarence, George Bailey’s guardian angel in It’s A Wonderful Life. But, just one year before he became immortalized as an AS2 (angel second-class), he played Horace P. Bogardus, the curmudgeonly old man in The Bells of St. Mary’s, with Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman. When George Bailey runs through Bedford Falls, invigorated and happy to be alive, he wishes the movie house a merry Christmas. That movie house happens to be playing The Bells of St. Mary’s. Both films went on to become Christmas classics.

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