#DearMe… Or, an Introspective Retrospective

In honor of International Women’s Day, join me and other gals around the globe as we offer our younger selves (and our readers!) some solid advice on how to stay strong and keep smiling.

generic-postmark-2Dear Former Self,

You’re young! Enjoy! Oh, wait. You already do. Guess you’re kind of ahead of the curve on that one… Everyone else always seems so eager to grow up, but as Mr. Scire once said, you’re wise beyond your years—to an extent. Don’t let that one go to your head, though. Remember! I said you’re young. You’ve got much to learn. With that being said, here are some things to keep in mind:

Beyond all else, embrace your mistakes. (They’ll teach you much more than any textbook ever could.) There’s one line from 13 Going on 30 that will resonate with you for years to come—

“I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I don’t regret making any of them, because if I hadn’t made them, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right.” –Beverly Rink

For some reason, people (including your inner perfectionist) are afraid of failure. However, they neglect to realize that it’s in those mistakes that we learn what matters most and what changes must be made. If you never fail, you’ll never learn. Everything you do will help you become the person you are, and no matter what anyone else tries to tell you, that person just so happens to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself (har har). Thus, you must not dwell on any one problem for too long. Yes, this or that might seem like the end of the world in the moment, but you’re stronger than you think. Learn and move along.

In 10 years, you will also have developed the uncanny ability to determine who does or doesn’t belong in your life—those who lift you up and those who pull you down. You will even be able to isolate the moment when this new skill came to light. Life won’t last forever. We’re all watching the clock in some fashion. Therefore, at some point, everyone needs to decide who’s worth their time and who belongs in someone else’s monkey sphere. The things you once thought were important—work, popularity, etc.—suddenly won’t matter as much because they’ll ultimately keep you from spending precious time with those you truly love.

Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll have plenty more advice for you in the coming decade. (Foresight isn’t exactly my thing.) But you’ve been doing surprisingly well thus far, so I’m not all that worried. You aren’t afraid to tell it like it is or stand up for yourself. Never lose that. Keep smiling, make people laugh, and do your best to inspire others to do the same.


Current Self

The Bachelor: Just Because You Don’t ‘Win’ Doesn’t Mean You Lose

800x533Much like the average Oscars telecast, ‘losers’ will always outnumber the ‘winners’ throughout Bachelor Nation. (Heck, even the ‘winners’ don’t always win, if you know what I mean…) Yet, as we’ve seen in just the last two seasons alone, those ladies who fail to find love at the end of the road often discover it along the way instead.

Most women apply for The Bachelor with the hope of finding love in an unconventional situation. What they don’t tell you, however, is that the love of your life might not be the man with the final rose after all. One need only peruse Instagram or Twitter to recognize that many of these so-called “contestants” have found stronger bonds in the form of friendship. Everyone assumes there will be catfights, but the women have been defying the stereotype, instead demonstrating the power of solid female relationships that outweigh the allure of some man.

Side note: Don’t get me wrong! I have the utmost respect for Chris Soules, a.k.a. Prince Farming—who’s the polar opposite of last year’s mistake, Juan Pablo Galavis—as he’s proven himself to be nothing but sweet and sincere throughout this amazing (cha-ching!)** journey.

Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 1.42.31 PMMore than anything, you can see this love in the way they say goodbye. Despite the fact that they’re all vying for the affection of the same man, these ladies cannot bear to let go of those they’ve come to know better than Chris himself. Jade Roper went to tears when Carly Waddell was sent home, and Becca Tilley was clearly not content to merely grasp hands with Kaitlyn Bristowe as she exited the temple in Bali. Though each woman clearly wants her chance for romance, none can handle seeing their friends in pain—an obvious sign that these girls are far more special than critics might have us think.

We must value these women and look up to them for who they are, not who the promos portray them to be. We must not look to Becca’s virginity as some “deal-breaker” or character flaw. Instead, we must look upon her as a woman who’s managed to stand by her convictions and virtues in an atmosphere that leaves one open to harsh criticism and hate. We should admire her stance and respect her decision, as she should feel proud for remaining true to her roots. We must appreciate Kaitlyn’s refreshing mix of class, candid humor, and vulnerability, for I cannot think of one person who didn’t fall in love with her right alongside Chris. (PS—#kaitlynforbachelorette all the way!) We must chuckle at Carly’s witty personality and marvel at her willingness to address the elephant in the room, because women shouldn’t be afraid to tell it like it is. We must support Jade’s honesty, for she should not be ashamed of her past, but rather confident in who she was and who she’s become.Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 1.43.24 PM

Without doubt, there will always be the requisite outliers—Kelsey and Ashley S. brought an extreme level of ‘cray cray’ drama and tension to an otherwise serious search for love. (Did you see how giddy the remaining girls were when the crew carted Kelsey’s suitcase away, though? I wanted to celebrate right along with them!) And, of course, there are those amazing (cha-ching!)** women whom we never truly got to know. But ultimately, the show’s renewed success comes down to how real these reality stars just happen to be. Believe it or not, I’m actually rather jealous of the friendships formed and the tenacity displayed. No one can deny that each woman was wholly and unabashedly herself, for better or worse.

Roses smell lovely, after all, but when the colors fade and the petals fall, what’s left? In this scenario, relationships that will last long after the cameras stop rolling, I’m sure.

**If I ever meet Jimmy Kimmel, remind me that I owe him $2.00.

(Images via ABC, Becca Tilley, and Carly Waddell.)

“I’ll Be Back, But I’m Coming as Oil!”


Mrs. Doubtfire introduced us to the idea that, with enough strength, everybody can exact revenge on their enemies by yanking the emblem off the front of their Mercedes-Benz with one swift, gratifying motion. Sean Maguire taught us all that we’re just kids—that what we’ve learned from books can never substitute the education that comes from experience.

Robin Williams, himself, showed the world how beautiful laughter can be.

Yet, tonight we mourn the loss of this undeniable talent. This beloved man, whose comedic wit will forever remain in our hearts, took his own life because sadness had overwhelmed his. Tears of sorrow have replaced tears of joy, for our world has lost someone who will not be soon forgotten.

You see, Robin Williams managed to achieve what only the rare few can do. Robin Williams used his unique blend of humor and emotion to breach the barrier between comedy and drama, appealing to fans across the spectrum. While his family-friendly films, such as Mrs. Doubtfire and Aladdin, will remain part of every child’s repertoire for decades to come, his dramatic works, such as Good Will Hunting and What Dreams May Come, will forever cause us to question our own mortality and direction in life.

But, while today’s events may represent loss, his life and legacy are gifts that will never relent. We’ve gained so much simply by having known his humor. Often times, those who suffer from depression feel as if they’re all alone in the world, but as the outpouring of shock and sadness has proven, Robin Williams had the entire world in his corner. His life affected so many others, and his spirit will remain for generations. Perhaps that’s the beauty of celebrity—though he may have passed, Robin Williams will live on as long as his films allow. We can only hope that he has now found the same happiness he’s blessed us with for all these years.

For now, “All my love to you, poppet, you’re going to be all right… Bye bye.”

The Juan That Got Away

How the women of The Bachelor won both our hearts and minds


Let’s get something straight right away—The Bachelor’s premise, though entertaining, will remain ridiculous until the end of time. Perhaps it’s just me, but I find the concept rather archaic and animalistic. That being said, I’m addicted and it’s all Juan Pablo’s fault. No, it’s not because he’s handsome. (Though we must all admit that’s what attracted us to season 18 in the first place.) Oddly enough, the appeal has shifted from the once dreamy leading man to the strong and sassy women whom he’s “loved” and lost.

No matter which season draws you in—this was the first full season I’ve ever watched, for instance—ABC publicizes every iteration of the series by overemphasizing the catfights and bickering between the ladies of the house. (Oh, and the tears! How could I forget the tears?) We’ve come to expect nothing but weekly displays of the female gender at its worst. But, what ABC probably didn’t expect was that Desiree Hartstock may have let this Latin lover slip through her fingers for a reason.

Juan Pablo, though seemingly sensitive and sincere, has spent the entire season digging himself one hole after another. From potentially homophobic remarks to slut-shaming, he’s reached the point where even his looks can’t save him now. (He can parade around shirtless throughout the entire finale, and that STILL won’t get anyone to gush at this stage of the game.) Instead, diehard fans will be crossing their fingers and hoping their favorite doesn’t have to endure an incomprehensible proposal and inevitable heartbreak, for this season, it’s those who walk away without an engagement ring that are the true winners.


Though the show, in general, revolves around the (eventual) love between one man and one woman, we’ve seen much more powerful bonds form among the women who came and went from our TV screens far too soon. Instead of dwelling on dissention within the house, these ladies have developed strong friendships that extend well past the confines of the camera. ABC keeps touting this season as one unlike any other and, quite frankly, they’re right. We’ve seen an array of smart women who know what they want and aren’t willing to dumb themselves down just to win the love of some man they hardly know. We’ve seen multiple “hopefuls” speak their mind because—wait for it—women have minds!

Plus, we’ve even seen what healthy female relationships look like despite the dramatic garbage ABC constantly feeds the media in their attempt to continuously plague people’s perception of female friendships. (You mean we’re not always at each other’s throats, battling to the death in a mud pit? PUH-LEASE!) With that in mind, here are the real “winners” of season 18, for these ladies left with their dignity intact and friendships that may very well last a lifetime.

BhXy38qIMAAHfIZFIRST PLACE: Sharleen Joynt and Andi Dorfman (TIE)—Oh, how refreshing to hear women speak their minds and voice their opinions! While both were admittedly attracted to the man of the hour, Sharleen and Andi willingly left the show because they knew their respective relationships with Juan Pablo were simply not what they needed or wanted from their significant other. Though difficult, these ladies surely got many viewers thinking about their own relationships and goals in life. (Yes, an otherwise mind-numbing show made people think! Sound the alarms…) Both are great role models and deserve nothing but respect and praise.

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 11.34.40 PM

SECOND PLACE: Renée Oteri—Just two weeks ago, I spent the entire episode wishing Juan Pablo would send Renée home because, from the beginning, I knew she deserved only the best. She spent most of the show acting as psychiatrist and confidant to every other woman in the house, and the fact that she’s a mother only made her more endearing because you need only hear her talk about her son, Ben, once to know she loves with all her heart. Thankfully, since the show wrapped, she’s found the love she’s been looking for (and he’s quite the looker, too). I couldn’t be happier for her as she begins this next phase with her new love and new life.

THIRD PLACE: Kelly Travis—The dog lover! Honestly, if she could just dub over every episode a la RiffTrax, I’d watch the entire season again in a heartbeat. Though Kelly did not get nearly enough screen time, her personality was infectious. Her “tell it like it is” attitude makes me wish we could be best friends in real life. To any and all television executives out there, we really need more Kelly (and Molly!) gracing our airwaves, so make it happen. It’s refreshing to find someone with an actual sense of humor who doesn’t just vapidly giggle at every dumb thing some man says. She’s totally #kellingit, obviously.

But, now that all the good ones are gone, who will Juan Pablo pick?

Who Juan Pablo will choose: Clare (without an ‘I’)—These two have had chemistry ever since she stepped out of the limo with that whacky baby bump stuffed up her dress. She’s a bit odd, and potentially unstable, but they get along quite “swimmingly” if you ask me. While I’d be wary of a future with the man who slut-shamed me on national television, Clare has visibly fallen head over heels in love with Juan Pablo and, for her sake, I can only hope he doesn’t hurt her again.

Who Juan Pablo should choose: No one—Juan Pablo seems self-centered and two-dimensional, or at least that’s what the cutting room would have us believe. He uses his daughter as an excuse every time he doesn’t want to take the blame or make a move, and one has to wonder if Camila will be a constant source of strain on his relationships. Perhaps we should get his baby mama’s take on all this? Regardless, I think all these women are much too good for him—even crazy Clare.

Images courtesy of Us Weekly, To Shell With ItAndi Dorfman and Renée Oteri

“Real” Talk: Why Aerie’s Latest Campaign Lacks Sincerity

aerieThough “retouched” images continue to plague newsstands and online publications across the globe, one can no longer peruse the pages of their favorite magazines and catalogs without the keen sense that something just isn’t right. We are all increasingly aware of the fact that Photoshop now allows photographers to smooth out imperfections, enabling them to remove wrinkles from both clothing and skin, yet its undeniable presence across all media outlets has left many desensitized to the damage such alterations may inflict upon our psyches and our youth.

However, as more women start to speak out about the pressure to look “picture perfect” despite these digitized standards of beauty, we are beginning to see a resurgence of “real” photographs that demonstrate the true beauty of the female form.

In what appears to be a blatant attempt to increase brand awareness and attract new customers, Aerie, the underwear, loungewear, and fitness wear extension of American Eagle Outfitters, decided to embrace the issue by creating a new campaign that touts the company’s refusal to Photoshop any of its models. Referred to as #aerieREAL on a recent direct mail piece, the campaign features (supposedly) average women that have not been distorted in any way. Yet, while I want to appreciate the retailer’s attempt to shun the sleazy façade that fuels its competitors—namely Victoria’s Secret—the brand neglected to break down its own personal barriers and erase the stigma these images perpetuate.


You see, while the moles and slight stomach dimples unmistakably reveal that the models remain au naturel, Aerie forgets to acknowledge that these “real” models are just that—models. They are all incredibly fit, with each exhibiting the same basic body shape and toned physique. All are impeccably groomed, as not a single one has a hair out of place (if you know where…ahem, what I mean). And all are most definitely taped into their bra. (Have you ever tried on one of Aerie’s bras? Or any stylish bra for that matter? Trust me, if your breasts are even remotely rotund, one will fall out the moment you roll over on your side.) Not a single one of these “real” models looks like the kind of young, impressionable girl you may find rummaging through the sale panties at the back of the store.

Honestly, it’s difficult to embrace a campaign that claims “the real you is sexy” when these models look like cookie cutter copies of one another. Aerie clearly wants to maintain a certain image, and that image will inevitably alienate those this campaign was intended to reach. None of these girls have stretch marks. None have belly fat that droops just over the band of their undies. None of them have rippled thighs or bumpy armpits. No, these girls were chosen for their practically flawless appearance and their willingness to be “retouched” through makeup and body wax.

But, then again, what more can one expect from a brand that must stow its double-D selection within the confines of its dressing room? Aerie may be trying to break ground with this newfangled notion its conjured, but the retailer has many miles to travel before it reaches the point of inclusion and representation for all female body types.

What’s Done Is Done

November has officially come to an end, bringing NaBloPoMo to a close. While I’d like to say I succeeded in meeting the challenge, I did not. Perhaps it was the fact that I did not know anything about NaBloPoMo until five days into the month. Or perhaps it’s the fact that life got in the way. But, no matter what distracted me from catching up and completing my goal, the attempt proved fruitful in ways that success may have hindered.

You see, though I may not have been able to follow through on every post, the ideas remain. I now have an ever-growing list of topics to dive into, for this experience now has me looking at everything in my life with a creative eye. I’ve come to see the beauty and the message behind even some of the most obscure and mundane things imaginable. Finishing the month strong may have made me feel accomplished, but failing has sparked new ambition as I’ve realized I’m not done, and probably never will be.

Plus, too much of a “good” thing is never a good thing, so it’s best that I stop overloading on entries anyway. Let’s just say, you haven’t seen the last of me. Yes, what’s done is done, but the best is yet to come!

I’ll Have a “Blue” Thanksgiving


Though Thanksgiving’s merely hours away, consumers and retailers are preparing themselves for something that goes against everything this holiday represents. While many are stuffing the turkey and gorging on apple pie, others will begin gathering outside storefronts across the country to nab “Brown Thursday” deals before “Black Friday” commences. On a day where we’re supposed to give thanks and convey gratitude, shoppers will be scrambling for bargains, while employees forego family dinners to perpetuate the public’s obsession with material goods.

Take a moment to read my latest blog entry for “Think Customers: The 1to1 Blog” and explore how this emerging tradition may mark the downfall of “quality time” as we know it:

Thanksgiving has always been a convoluted mess. Our predecessors plundered the Native American land, the occasion wasn’t recognized as an official holiday until 1863, and I’m not even certain as to why we specifically target turkeys for the main course. But one thing’s for sure–“thanks” and “giving” no longer go together like peanut butter and jelly. (Continue…)



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